So what have you to say for yourself? Well? Mmm???
There I was, trembling before a judge who looked terrifyingly like Alice’s Red Queen of Hearts, while she hurled questions at me with a dagger-like finger. Before us on the evidence table languished exhibit A, a decidedly unwell phalaenopsis orchid.
Its leaves were shrivelled and drooping; and blow me down if the poor thing didn’t have eyes! What’s more, they were aimed accusingly in my direction. I don’t want to give you nightmares with the image, so here is a happier specimen in the picture below.
But let me go back to the beginning. A random remark made over breakfast this morning broke the membrane of a dream I had last night. We were discussing our innate human tendency for passing judgement; often without knowing all the facts.
You must have caught yourself doing the same thing? That woman bending over in the teeny, tiny short skirt – what was she thinking?! Or the weight-challenged fellow hoeing into a super-sized burger and chips, chased down with a mega doughnut and coke? My hand slides surreptitiously to my slightly lesser-sized stomach in silent gratitude – or is it self-congratulation?
But, back to my dream. The thing was, the judge didn’t have all the facts. She wasn’t aware of the circumstances that brought a loving gardener and her abject failure to this point. She didn’t know I had unwittingly brought the plant inside at a crucial state of its flowering. She didn’t know my intentions were not malicious; that I simply wanted to celebrate the glory of the little plant by showing it off.
So, I pled ignorance.
The Red Queen wasn’t having any of it. ‘Ignorance is no defence – no excuse!’ she boomed. I cringed, waiting for the ‘Off with her head!’ which would surely come next.
But my eggs and bacon with rye toast arrived instead and I was back in the present. The person at the next table was talking loudly and eating off his knife. But who am I to judge?
When I saw the gorgeous specimens above from my buddy’s collection, I realised the Red Queen was at it again. But this time she was me, and I was passing judgement on myself.
My inner dialogue about my friend’s prowess went something like this: ‘Seriously, what is she doing that I’m not? Her thumbs are definitely green.’ And let it be clear, so was I, albeit of a more envious shade! I was obviously falling far short of my own expectations. It seems we’re not discriminating about who we pass negative judgements on.
I’d been reminded of my shortcomings in an unusual way. If dreams are a portal into the subconscious mind then I clearly have some reflective work to do.
My poor orchid still teeters on the brink of existence, but I have hopes and dreams to do better.
Failures are opportunities to learn. The next time I catch the Red Queen in my dreams, I’ll ask her to consider all the facts before she deigns to pass judgement.
Perhaps I could also take that good advice and temper my own judgemental gaze.
“Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Resources:
This is not only great site for Phalaenopsis orchids but for orchids in general.
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/orchids/phalaenopsis-orchids-post-bloom.htm
Well, they do say many of us are our own worst critics. (They don’t usually mention anything about the degree of wakefulness involved.)
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That inner critic never sleeps Bun. She can show up in the most unexpected places.
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I think we all have a tendency to judge ourselves much more harshly than others. hope your orchid recovers and thrives
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Time will tell Brenda. I’m frustrated by my inability to grow this particular variety.
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Well just be aware that we can’t do everything. Look at what you do well. Bet that list far outweighs your difficult with this type of orchids
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Good advice Brenda. It’s often easy to overlook our particular successes.
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An amusing post Robyn, I guess we are all somewhat judgemental at times. I am sure your orchid can recover with a bit of TLC. 🙂
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Thanks Jude. Dreams can be revealing.
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Ah, well mine are, let’s say, a little odd. What my OH refers to as Planet Jude!
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Ahhh! Odd to OH but perfectly normal for you.
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This has got to be one of your best blogs yet! Loved it! Xx
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Thank you so much Belle. That you like my ideas means a lot to me.
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Oh, orchids are such temperamental creatures. The only ones I’ve ever laid my hands on have been the tiny ones that sometimes show themselves in a small garden centre, or more likely, one that’s been brought home by hubby from the supermarket. That one will be sad to start with and will have come home to be nursed back to some sort of health. I think of flowers that find themselves in our human presence, as beings that want to be loved. Much like us, surely? Try not to be hard on yourself.
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Val, you sound just like my daughter who purchases from the ‘sad and dying’ clearance tables at nurseries we visit so she can rescue plants and give them another chance. After reading The Secret Life of Plants, I think there is something in what you say. It’s a fascinating read of you can get hold of a copy.
Thanks for the commiserations, I am always striving for better.
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I think we all live in a judgement daze. Sounds like you woke up. Well done! Great post!
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Judgement daze – clever play on words. Thanks Gail
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I was just having a conversation with my son about judgement. We all do it but I think it’s really eye opening when we are able to recognize we are judging. I really like this line: “If dreams are a portal into the subconscious mind then I clearly have some reflective work to do.”
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Thank you Steph. Yes, we’re all guilty of judging others but I think we more often judge ourselves without realising it.
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Oh heavens YES! We can be our own worst enemy.
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